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Anyone else have experience with this hatch?

That's one of my favorites, but I've never had much luck getting trout to rise to the dry. I must be doing something wrong.

Rookie.

-Shawn

The scud hatch ranks right up there with the cressbug hatch in my opinion. And I,like Gonzo, have had little luck getting the trout to rise to the dry. Undaunted by remarks such as Shawn’s I shall continue to cast upon the water my scud and cressbug dries until I get it right.

Louis says it's all in the presentation, Falsifly. Maybe our dries were dragging. Still, I think I'm going to try a dry Hairy Honeybug the next time I encounter the cressbug hatch. (Oops, I mentioned one of the Unspeakable Three. Sorry, Shawn.)

Gonzo, I mentioned to Jack that you were going to try a dry Hairy Honeybug and he suggested that you apply plenty of floatant to keep it up. That’s what he said but I think he meant to keep it afloat, they are synonymous aren’t they? I’ve got him working on the Wiggle Nymph and the Curly Worm and I can’t wait to see what he comes up with.

Did Jack mention if I should rub the floatant onto my Hairy Honeybug, or should I apply something like Frog's Fanny? (On second thought......Eeewwwww! I don't even want to know what Jack thinks about the French.)

Falsify wrote -

"going to try a dry Hairy Honeybug and he suggested that you apply plenty of floatant to keep it up."

I've found that if I grind up a Levitra tablet and mix it in with my dubbing it does wonders in keeping the fly up!

Gonzo, I can't believe that you'd suggest using a hairy honeybug during a cressbug hatch. Anyone who might recommend such would probably stoop to other unscrupulous behavior, such as fishing wet.

I hear Gonzo even fishes nymphs, and sometimes he deviates from a complete dead drift... intentionally!

Let's not go spreading vicious rumors, Jason. Next thing you'll be accusing him of using synthetics.

-Shawn

The problem with fishing the scud hatch on my home waters is that they are best imitated on a size 32 hook -- now that's not so bad, but when you factor in that the fish I catch are all upwards of 5 pounds, you've got a real problem. How do you get a tippet stout enough to handle a lunker through the eye of the size 32 hook? Well, after years of pondering this dilemma, I have resorted to making my own special scud dry hooks. They are true size 32 with the eye of a size 6 hook, which easily takes the size 2x tippet I fish to land the brutes the scud hatch never fails to bring up. ;-)

Jack says the Frog’s Fanny is definitely out. Anything applied with a brush can lead to stroking. Floatants applied in a painting manner should be done by finger painting only. He said rub if you must but do it gently with the finger tips. He cautions that a properly dressed Hairy Honeybug, rhythmically undulating upon the stirring currents, is sure to get a rise at the very least, but more than likely will leave you totally satisfied. Jack said he once had a Hairy Honeybug as such described, but lost it in a bush during a false cast. He compared the traumatic experience to that of divorce. He said that all other flies, as compared to the Hairy Honeybug, are nothing but hookers. He went on to explain that the loss was so great that he wrapped himself up in the bottle. In an effort to put a cap on the direction this conversation was going I asked Jack what he thought about the French. He declined to comment other than to say that it was a ticklish subject.

Heeyyy...what's this?.....an intervention? Or have I stumbled into a meeting of some kind of twelve-step program?

OK, they say confession is good for the soul, so here it is:

"Hello, my name is Gonzo, and I'm a nymphoholic. I further confess that when more appropriate natural materials were not available to me, I have--in moments of extreme desperation and distress--resorted to synthetic substitutes."

An intervention? Where'd you get that idea, Lloyd? You paranoid about something?

OK, I've let you guys flounder around enough. I suppose I should reveal my secret to tying the Scud Dun. First, I substitute a huge foam plug for the normal Swwannadduzzee. After dubbing the body with hair from an unmentionable source, I tie the ribbing over the foam - the fish definitely like this fly ribbed for some reason. I always make sure to leave a little foam "head" protruding from the front, and trim it to shape. When finished, the foam should have the shape of... ummm... a cigar. Next, I use Flexament to secure a Viagra to each side of the foam cigar at the rear of the hook - these exaggerated eyes really get the fish's juices flowing. The Viagra also adds just enough weight to the rear of the hook to make the fly float erectly in the surface film (most people, I find, tie their scud patterns with an unattractive droopy shape that puts the fish out of the mood). Finally, when I fish the fly, I twitch it along the surface in short jerks. After working the water for a few minutes, the action can be explosive.

Pictures of this fly, along with tying and fishing instructions, will be posted in the newly formed "Fly Porn" section of my site.

-Shawn

Hmmm, Shawn... I won't ask if you don't tell.

Falsifly, Jack's completely outdone himself this time. But what do you expect, given that he's from Tennessee?

You have my word, Jason.

This thread was already so bizarre that I just couldn't resist. Besides, I wanted to share a new pattern that Louis could add to his arsenal of Hairy Weenies, or whatever he calls them. As far as I know, all of his Unspeakables are wets (insert your own joke here), so I naturally thought he'd be keenly interested in a phloating phallus.

-Shawn

Hairy Weenies. Now, that idea has possibilities, Shawn. I'm off to the tying bench.

When I unveil the result, we'll have to engage in a contest: your curly worm vs. my hairy weenie.

Ladiessssss and Gentlemennnnn: Tonight! In this corner we have the world’s uuuuundisputed champion Shaaawwwnnn The Curly Worm Daavviss weighing in at a limp feather weight. (The crowd goes crazy). And opposing him tonight in this corner we have Loouuiss The Hairy Weenie Maarrrtinn an up and coming star weighing in at a stiff hackle weight. (And the crowd goes crazy). DING! And here we go. Hairy Weenie charges from his corner and delivers the first blow. OHHHH it’s a low blow right to Curly Worm’s split shot. Curly Worm doubles over obviously in excruciating pain as the ref separates the two, but Curly Worm quickly regains his composure winding up with a circumcising blow to Hairy weenie’s head and Hairy Weenie is DOWN! 1 2 3 4 NO WAIT! Hairy Weenie is shaking it off and stiffly gets to his feet. DING! What an exciting first round. Curly Worm is getting a stiff rub down from Wiggle Nymph and Hairy Weenie is getting a cold shower from Hairy Honeybug. DING! And the two come out swinging. It’s Hairy Weenie connecting first with a stiff thrust to Curly Worms back side but Curly Worm spins and delivers a stiff upper hook cold cocking Hairy Weenie. DING! Wow what a beating these two are giving, I don’t know how many rounds this can go on. Again Curly Worm is getting a stiff rub down from Wiggle Nymph stiffening his stature and he seems ready for another quick round, and Hairy Honeybug is getting another cold shower from Hairy Honeybug who seems to be fighting off a headache. BUT WAIT! Hairy Honeybug is whispering something in Hairy Weenie's ear and boy he sure looks excited. DING! WOW! MAN! Curly Worm and Hairy Weenie literally leaped from their corners and are now center ring in a blurred frenzied entangled mass, each beating the other into a swelter. OH MY GOD!!! Ladies and gentle in all my years of announcing I have never seen this before. Wiggle Nymph and Hairy Honeybug have just entered the ring and now we’ve got a foursome going at it. Let me tell ya the crowd is on their feet going ecstatic. This is it folks, the climatic outcome of this contest is at hand. OH NO! Wiggle Nymph is down and out. AND THERE GOES HAIRY WEENIE! COLAPSING AGAINST THE ROPES! And I that he would pull this one off. It’s now Curly Worm and Hairy Honeybug going at it, and to me it looks like Hairy Honeybug is on top. YES! YES!! YES!!! HAIRY HONEYBUG HAS JUST STRUCK CURLY WORM WITH THE PMS PUNCH AND CURLY WORM IS GONE!!!!!