Some of you (hey Spence) have noticed that I've been doing a bit - OK, a LOT - of ranting here on this site lately, primarly due to my frustrations of being unemployed and what I perceive to be rampant "anti-environmentalism" that has been around lately. So, I thought perhaps I should lighten the mood - at least, MY mood - with a few fishing jokes. The first was told to me by the fellow who ran the fly shop where I learned to first tie my own flies 20 years ago - the Troutpost in Lansing, MI, which I'm not sure still exists since I haven't been there in a long time (anyone have any info?). The other was a ripoff of a funny story that I read as a kid and incorporated into a 5th-grade class assignment to write a humorous story about a person seeking spiritual advice from a great guru. So, here goes...
#1: "You know, if you tie EYES on your flies, they'll never get snagged."
"Really? How come?"
"They can SEE where they're going!"
And, #2:
A man seeking spiritual guidance went to a guru and had a pressing question to ask him.
"Oh, great Swami, I need to ask you about an experience I had recently."
"Yes, my son, go ahead and tell me."
"Well, I was recently out fishing in my boat, when I got a very upset stomach. I figured the way to take care of it was to take some Alka-Seltzer, so I pulled out a packet of pills and was about to drop them into a glass of water. Instead, I fumbled and the pills fell over the side of the boat and into the water. As I watched them sink and start to fizz, much to my amazement, a large bass came up and swallowed the fizzing pills! In total disbelief, I watched this fish rise to the surface as the fizzing pills in it's stomach filled it with gas and it became lighter than water. I grabbed it by the lip and it was the biggest bass I caught that day!"
"Congradulations, my son! You got a nice one! But, you said you had a question for me."
"Oh yes, great Swami, I do. Why would the fish swallow those pills? I can't imagine that it looked anything like food to him!"
"Why, don't you see, my son? The fish must have had an upset stomach TOO!!"
Without further comment...
Jonathon
No matter how big the one you just caught is, there's always a bigger one out there somewhere...