I don't think I've heard that one, Martinlf, so enlighten me - if you're afraid of offending anyone, email me privately.
Here's one for ya, thought it doesn't necessarily apply strictly to Catholics...
A priest and a rabbi are good friends. On a walk to get lunch together, the rabbi starts across a road in front of the priest. Suddenly, a speeding car comes out of nowhere and knocks the rabbi down hard. As he gets up, the priest watching in horror, the rabbi suddenly appears to cross himself like a Christian. The priest can't believe his eyes. "Good Lord, man, you've been converted!" "Huh? What do you mean?" said the rabbi. "Why, you crossed yourself like a Christian!" To which the rabbi replies. "What? No I did not! I was just checking eveything - spectacles, testicles, watch, and wallet."
OK, this one DOES specifically apply to Catholics...
A man dies. As he has lived a good, moral life, he goes to heaven. St. Peter welcomes him at the gates. "Welcome to Heaven my son! You've made it at last, and now you will recieve your rewards for having lived a good and decent life!" The man is absolutely thrilled and can't wait to see what his rewards are.
St. Peter says, "Since you have just arrived, I shall give you a heavenly tour of your eternal home, just to get you oriented." "That sounds wonderful!" says the man. St. Peter leads the man down a long hallway lit by golden light, on either side of which are rooms. Some of the rooms have open doors, so the man peeks into them. Inside the first door, people are singing, dancing, kissing, and generally having a wild and crazy time. "St. Peter!" says the man. "Who are those people?" To which St. Peter replies, "Oh, those are the Puritans. Since they couldn't do all those things in their earthly lives, we let them do it all up here in Heaven."
On down the hallway they went. Upon passing another open door, the man peeks inside and sees people smoking, drinking, gambling, and generally carousing. "St. Peter, who are those people?" "Oh, they're the Methodists. Since they couldn't do all those things in their earthly lives, we let them do it all up here in Heaven."
Still further, another door is open, and the man peeks inside. Inside the room are people typing away on computers, watching movies on VCRs, playing video games, and tinkering away on various motors and other mechanical and electronic devices - all having a terrific time. "St. Peter..." Before he can finish his sentence, St. Peter says, "Those are the Amish. Since they couldn't do all those things in their earthly lives, we let them do it all up here in Heaven."
Finally, they pass the last open door. Inside are people who look rather dour and bored. They are reading newspapers, watching old TV shows, and generally look miserable. "St. Peter!" exclaims the man! "Those are the Catholics - they DID EVERYTHING already!!"
Hey man, you asked for it...
Jonathon :oD
No matter how big the one you just caught is, there's always a bigger one out there somewhere...