Nothing was more exciting for me and my cousins than a trip to Elk River with our Uncle John. He had a bunch of fishing rods that occupied a corner in an unheated back room of his house, and he would gather them up, go out to the dog pen, push past the beagles, and turn over the big food troughs he made by cutting a tire and half. Underneath them we would find plenty of worms. Then we walked through the fields on a path that led down to our favorite fishing hole. There we would find brim (what the Yankees up here in Pennsylvania call bluegill), punkinseed, black perch (rock bass), warmouth perch, shellcrackers, and large and small mouth bass. The only fish Uncle John ever threw back were small ones, what he called "eyes and tail" fish. Sometimes Uncle John would bring minnows, and he would set one line out in the middle of the river for bass while we fished for brim closer to shore. If he hooked a big bass, he would yell out "Hold ‘er Newt she's headed for the pea patch!” One day I was fishing right next to him, and we were both, of course, using bobbers. His bobber kept going under and he kept pulling in the fish, while my bobber seemed to never move. I looked over and said, "Uncle John, what am I doing wrong?" He gave me a serious look, and said with absolutely no expression of humor, "Boy, you ain't holdin’ your mouth right." [When one of my fishing buddies is coming up short these days, Uncle John's laconic answer sometimes finds its way into the conversation.] At the end of the day, we would gather up all the rods, feed any dead minnows to the cat that had followed us down to the river, and head back through the fields. When we got back to Uncle John's house, he would pull out a few old boards, get some forks and knives, and we would clean fish. I'll never forget my amazement when I opened the stomach of a fish and found four or five big red-brown wasps. I wasn't just amazed that any creature could eat wasps and deal with the stings, but wondered how in the world did he find and eat so many of them at one time? Nor will I ever forget the day Uncle John picked up one of the fish I had cleaned, scrutinized it closely, and said, "Boy, you didn't cut this fish's asshole out. I don't want to be eating fishes’ assholes." Years later, after Uncle John had gone on to the great river in the sky, I told my Aunt Vivian that story. When her laughter died down, she wiped the tears from her eyes, and said, "That’s your Uncle John."
"He spread them a yard and a half. 'And every one that got away is this big.'"
--Fred Chappell