1. Troutnut Forum
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3. Just Fishing For Trout

By request, I have secured special permission to establish this unique thread with a special set of rules:

1. Nothing of any depth, detail, or complexity may be posted in this thread.

2. No Latin words of any sort, whether describing insects or for general purposes will be tolerated.

3. No one with a Ph.D. may post anything here, with the exception of this initial post, which establishes rules for what can't be done here.

4. No one from the Northeast may post in this thread, including transplants from other regions who currently reside in the Northeast, and some from Wisconsin may be banned if they push their luck.

5. Still no haiku. And no limericks here either.

I'd better get in on this and post something before I get a PhD...

No Latin names though? Hmm... in that case, this is all I've got:

I'm glad you guys are having fun with this.By the way Jason,I like your hat!!

Lewis-

Seems as though I qualify with regard to rules (3, 4, and 5). And, with regard to rules (1 and 2), I have stifled my natural urges. However, that leaves me with absolutely nothing to contribute, which upon further reflection, is most likely the norm anyway.

Well, I was born in Maryland, so I'm not "from" the Northeast. So, thanks to that loop-hole, I'm totally allowed to post here! Nice! Do I need to play the part of the backwoods, NASCAR/Bud Light loving, Marylandian lawnchair fisherman, or am I allowed to express my acquired Northeast intellect? Let me know, because I would totally love to participate in this thread. Only under good terms, that is.

Maryland Mike

Well, we’re off to a good start. No more long drawn out dissertations of the infinite nuances, and the knowledge thus gained, that some feel we must aspire to in order to catch trout. A tactic used by many to mask their ineptitude, and to convince those who would otherwise catch fish why they don’t.

Getting better. No more baffling language to further disguise and obscure simplicity. Another tactic used rather exclusively by fly fishermen to further elevate and distinguish themselves from the lower forms. Ah, how could one possibly catch trout without a thorough scientific understanding of aquatic entomology and the Latin thus associated?

This one may very well be the best. No more shall we be asked to answer the Professor’s questions, only to have him turn around and answer the question for us.

SSShhh, can you hear it? Peace and quiet, no posts from the Northeast, they must be fuming with rage, unable to destroy our solitude as we simply go on “Just Fishing For Trout”. Am I pushing my luck?

All forums have a silly rule; it’s not so much the haiku as it is no limericks. That I will miss.

Well, I'm going to take the stated rules in aggregate as a prohibition on sophistication and fancy stuff. I have to in order to participate, being originally from the Northeast.

Here's my non-sophisticated, completely unfancy contribution.

The best tool for fishing small alder clogged brooks in a 8 1/2 foot Western Auto Fiberglass fly rod built to be matched with an HCH line. You put one of those no-knot eyelets up into the core of the line and attached a 4 feet section on 8 lb. Stren with a #6 Eagle claw bait hook tied to the end of it. You impale a small gray salamander you found under a stream side log on the hook, poke the rod into the alders and let the salamander drop into the water. Then you hang on.

And that's pretty much all I know about trout fishing. I don;t get nuanced until we start talking about crappie...

Man, I'm REALLY close to being able to post here.

1. Nothing of any depth, detail, or complexity may be posted in this thread.

No problem; I'm a self-described "fly-fishing simpleton", and I like it that way. There is plenty of complexity in other areas of my life, and I try hard to keep that out of my fishing.

2. No Latin words of any sort, whether describing insects or for general purposes will be tolerated.

Latin? I can barely speak English...

3. No one with a Ph.D. may post anything here, with the exception of this initial post, which establishes rules for what can't be done here.

It's been almost 15 years since I BARELY sneaked out of college with a BS; I STILL occasionally wake up in a panic in the middle of the night, having just had the "I never actually graduated" nightmare. If there's one thing you can hang your hat on, it's this: I'll never have a Ph.D.

4. No one from the Northeast may post in this thread, including transplants from other regions who currently reside in the Northeast, and some from Wisconsin may be banned if they push their luck.

Here is where it gets sticky; I'm FROM the northeast, but I haven't lived there for several years, and I hardly ever get back there. So, if you're from the northeast but have been transplanted to the gates of hell, do you get to post here?

5. Still no haiku. And no limericks here either.

Thank goodness; I couldn't write either of those if my life depended on it.